It’s the age of Tinder, guys! And there’s hardly any millennial who hasn’t dipped a toe in the ever-extending pool of online dating. And, of course, we have our hopes, fears, and excitement, all in a tailspin while we’re at it. If you’ve ever been on this crazy app, you must’ve following thoughts cross your mind at least once.
1. You’re Cute. Please Be Smart *Fingers Crossed*
Oh, finally I’m connected to a decent-looking guy. We have yet to break the ice and indulge in talking and I just hope he doesn’t turn out like others who were cute as a button and just as smart. I’m literally praising for you to be at least be able to hold conservation or know the square root of 64! And a lil’ witty and funny too. Am I asking for too much?
2. Why Aren’t Here Any Ben-Affleck-Level Hot People?
Of course, I am here for hot people. Tall, broad, and super handsome – that’s what I desire, want, and need. Wait, I should include this in my bio. Can all these averages be filtered out already? Can’t we just see only the cute guys without wading/swiping through the irrelevants? Geez, when will technology get advanced?
3. Wow, I’ve Found Ben Affleck. Ha! Catfish
Yay! I’ve found someone great! Finally, after going through over 100s of uninteresting profiles, he’s here. So modelesque, deep eyes, those muscles, great height – he checks off all my criteria of an ideal mate. But wait a minute. Why would such a person even be on here in the first place? I’m sure other girls would swarm around him all the time. Why does he even need to be here? Something’s wrong. This has got to be an imposter. Plus, the way he talks, it doesn’t reflect the swag of a genetically-blessed person. Damn! And all this time I was thinking… Well, let’s leave it.
4. I Don’t Need To Buy the Premier Pack
I will not buy the premier version, no matter how much Tinder convinces me to. What’s I’m missing out on really? All that is to it is that I’m just restricted to a few superlikes, can’t go back if I mistakenly swiped left on someone, can’t know the 900+ people who swiped right on me and can’t get rid of these ads. I don’t need to buy the premier pack. I don’t need to buy the premier pack.
5. Sheesh I Like Your Dog More than You
Aww, that’s the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen in my life. If only, the guy could be at par his your dog! In some parallel universe, it would have been the other way around. And it’s really hard to swipe left on that cute furry face. Maybe, let’s not…
Tinder! It takes more from us than it gives! *Long deep sigh*